(The sounds of the Battle Hymn of the Republic softly play in the background)

Today I consider myself the healthiest man alive. They can't say it, but I can. Beer prevents cancer. It also makes you smarter, sexier, and if you are a girl at a bar at 1:30AM, it can actually make you lose weight (or if you are Lou it will help you gain weight.) So to everyone out that drinks like it's Saint Patty's day everyday... it does a body good.

This is Lazlo saying, Live Long and Prosper... Bud Man